That Veil
by Zabet
Summary: Chapter 3 up. Remus finally cracks, taking drastic action. Post OotP. NOT slash.
1. Chapter One

He held his breath.

Time slowed down. He watched the curse hit Sirius in the chest. Sirius' eyes widened in shock. Then he fell.

So slowly. Remus could see everything. The way Padfoot's robes flew out behind him. How gently Padfoot's head pushed the veil back behind him.

_That veil. That goddamn veil._

It all happened in less than a second. To Remus, it seemed to take forever. His best friend was gone.

Where did he go? It didn't matter; he was no longer here with him. With his friend.

_I miss my friend..._

Remus held on to Harry. He wanted to pull the boy in and never let him go. He was all he had left now. The only thing that remotely resembled his friends. The last petal from a garden full of dead flowers.

Harry ran. Remus could not stop him. He continued to stare at the veil. _That veil._

* * *

He woke up then, gasping for breath. His eyes stung with the tears he had unconsciously shed. He suppressed the childish shudders of his body, pulling the soft sheets of Sirius' bed off his body. He would probably never figure out why he had submitted himself to the torture of sleeping in his best friend's room. He'd told himself it was to be closer to Padfoot. But it only made the emptiness inside him greater. He let out a sob, and collapsed into the sheets. Tears coursed down his cheeks freely. He did not care who heard, or who saw. He was alone. So alone.

Trying to take slower breaths, he lifted his head. He glanced at a picture on the bedside table – himself, Padfoot, and Prongs. He suppressed a mournful laugh when he saw the side of the picture end not in the smooth lines of a photograph, but with the rip of a former friend, now a bitter enemy. Wormtail's arm was all that could be seen, flailing about helplessly.

_Why did that have to end? Is this my punishment? What did I do to deserve this misery?!_

He angrily grabbed the photograph and smashed the frame against the wall. The glass shattered into hundreds of pieces. The picture lay on the floor, half covered by the frame.

Remus stared down at his arm, which was bleeding. A large shard of glass was protruding from his wrist, out of a major vein. He stared at the stream of blood, mesmerized. He had become almost oblivious to pain as a result of his lycanthropy. However, the sight of the flowing blood seemed to calm him.

He swiftly ripped the shard out of his arm, tossing it to the floor with the others. He sucked the piece of his wrist that was bleeding. What would he have done if he'd died?

_...What if I'd died?..._

The thought got him excited. What if he'd died? Sirius was dead. James was dead. Lily was dead. ...What if he was as well?

Now nearly giddy with excitement, he pulled on an old cloak. He swiftly left the room, taking the stairs three or four at a time. He landed at the bottom softly, then ran to the kitchen. The Order was in session; they'd left him to his own devices. Many were surprised and shocked to see the man who had been so broken only hours before nearly bursting with seeming happiness. His face was split in a grin.

He made his way to the cupboard, flinging the doors open. He roughly pulled a bottle of healing potion out, tossing away the lid, and dumping the entire contents on his profusely bleeding wrist. He heard several gasps from behind him, but didn't care. He haphazardly tossed the glass phial to the ground.

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He spun around to see the face of his aging Headmaster.

"Remus?" the old man asked cautiously, carefully searching the other man's eyes with his own. Remus dropped his gaze, still smiling.

"You couldn't protect him. You couldn't protect any of them," he whispered bitterly. He made contact again with the now pained eyes. "I will bring him back."

He smirked. Before anyone could say another word, he disapparated.

* * *

He appeared in the Ministry atrium. It was late, and there were few people around. He made his way down the levels of the Ministry, stopping in front of the Department of Mysteries. Standing with his back to Remus was Kingsley Shacklebolt. He turned around at the sound of the older man's footsteps.

"Lupin," he said in surprise, looking cautiously at the lycanthrope. He took a step forward. "Remus, are you alright?"

Remus shrugged. "I will be," he said pleasantly. "Sorry about this, Kingsley."

Shacklebolt gave him a confused look, but Remus lifted his wand and _stupefied_ him. Dragging the unconscious man into a corner, he entered the Department of Mysteries. Making his way, he quickly arrived at his destination, remembering with wolf-like precision the steps he'd taken not but a month ago.

Remus Lupin entered the Death Chamber.

It was as he remembered. He tried to block the memories, knowing that what he had come for would far outweigh the pain he had experienced in the past. His only regret was the pain he knew he'd cause Harry. But then, the boy was strong. They didn't have a strong bond – no, Remus would have loved to have a strong bond with the boy, but in the end, they did not. Remus knew that was what would save the boy.

He stepped down the large stone steps, coming to a halt in front of the veil. He held his breath and cautiously took a step forward. He could hear the whispers of those who'd vanished through the veil, and those who had merely vanished from the world of the living. It almost seemed like they knew what he had planned, like they were calling to him.

_Remussssssssssssss..._

He reached out a hand, letting it feel the flutter of the veil. He could almost feel what was on the other side. Closing his eyes, he took a step forward through the veil.

_That veil..._

* * *

He opened his eyes. It was so white around him...it was almost blinding. He realized he was lying down, though he could not, and never would be able to, identify the substance on which he was lying. He slowly pushed himself up on his elbows, glancing around.

He found himself staring into the wide eyes of Sirius Black.

Startled, he pulled backwards. His back came into contact with a pair of legs. He cocked his head upwards to see whose legs he'd run into.

James Potter.

Mouth hanging open, too far into shock to speak, found himself being helped to his feet.

By Lily Potter.

"My God," he whispered, breathless. He gazed curiously at the sad look on each of his best friend's faces. He broke into a smile and dove at Sirius.

"PADFOOT!" he shrieked, sounding like a small child. He enveloped the taller man in a bone-crushing hug. He pulled back, however, when he did not feel the hug being returned. Sirius looked ready to cry.

"Gods, Moony, what did you do?" he whispered, his voice sounding distant.

"You're supposed to be with Harry," said James from behind him. Remus turned back to look at his friend.

"I-what? What do you mean?"

A single tear rolled down Lily's cheek, and she placed her hand on Remus' shoulder.

"Remus...don't you understand? You aren't supposed to be here with us."

Remus pulled away from her, upset. "I don't care. I can't take it anymore. I refuse to be alone!" he shouted.

Sirius shook his head, looking at his friend with pity. "But you're not supposed to be here."

Remus' face hardened. "Neither are you."

Sirius looked away. "I know."

Remus' mouth fell open. That was not the answer he'd expected. He walked towards his friend. "Come back with me," he whispered. Sirius tried to pull away, but Moony held him tighter.

Sirius pointed behind Remus. The werewolf looked at what he was pointing at – the other side of the veil.

"You came through by choice, old friend," Sirius whispered miserably. "I did not."

Frantic, Remus looked at his other two friends desperately. They shook their heads. "We did not fall through the veil to get here," they said in unison. "We cannot go back."

"...But I can?" he asked, frightened of the answer. They simply nodded.

"Then I'm taking Padfoot with me."

The resolve with which he said this shocked the three others. James and Lily were speechless as Remus walked up and hugged them both.

"We will meet again someday, my friends," he murmured. He then turned to Sirius, grabbed his arms forcefully, and pulled him along towards the veil.

Sirius was too shocked to argue.

Moony pulled him through the veil.

* * *

They landed on the floor of the Death Chamber with a thump.

Sirius turned to look at his best friend.

"Wow."

* * *

A/N: It was just a piece. I wanted to fix JKR's mistake ;) Should I continue? Make it a story? Or leave it a piece? It could be a good story...You tell me.


	2. Chapter Two

"...Why wouldn't you come with me, Padfoot?" Remus asked curiously. Sirius shook his head.

"It's not that I didn't _want_ to, Moony. You can't imagine how awful I felt, knowing how much pain I'd caused you and Harry. But it's the physics of the Veil – only a person who goes through the Veil by _choice_ can leave. Anyone who is forced through against their will is stuck. I suppose the logic is that nobody goes through by choice." Sirius gave Remus a very concerned look. "Unless, of course, the person in question is a very desperate man..."

Remus looked guiltily at his feet. It was still late at night, and the two had promptly left the Ministry, having apparated to a remote location near Hogwarts, in the Scottish highlands. They were walking side by side up an old muggle path through the woods.

Remus avoided his friend's unasked question. "So, if a person chooses to go in, they can choose to leave...and they can bring others out who don't have the same choice?"

Sirius gave Remus a sideways glance. "Only if they came to be there by falling through the Veil, and you're avoiding my question."

"You didn't _ask_ a question, Padfoot," Remus said stubbornly, avoiding Sirius' gaze.

Sirius stopped walking and turned to face the werewolf. Remus kept his head down, but Sirius put his hands on his shoulders and forced his head up.

"Moony," he whispered. Remus tried to pull away, but Sirius held tight. His eyes were pleading. "You were really willing to...to risk it all..." Sirius stumbled over his words. "You would take your own life?..."

Remus finally pushed away, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. He hugged himself tight and slid to the ground, leaning against a tree. Sirius knelt in front of him.

"I'm sorry," Remus sobbed, hugging his knees towards him and burying his face in them. Sirius leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his oldest friend.

"Shh, it's okay, Remus," Sirius murmured, rubbing his hand over Remus' back as the smaller man cried into his shoulder.

"It was just too much," Remus whispered, pulling back and wiping away his tears with his sleeve. "Lily and James...and then thinking you'd betrayed them. And Peter," Remus looked like he would kill Wormtail if he was there just then. "And knowing that Dumbledore had sent Harry to live with those muggles..." Remus looked desperately at Sirius. "I was alone for so long, Padfoot. And I only just got you back!"

"But Moony," Sirius whispered gently, "what about Harry?"

Remus laughed bitterly. "He and I were...close, I suppose, the year I was teaching. But we _never_ had the relationship that you and he had."

Sirius was at a loss for words. "Remus, I never realized-"

"No," Remus said, cutting him off. "It isn't your fault, Padfoot. It's merely a fact, something else I have no control over." Remus sucked in a deep, calming breath. "But the Veil was something – for me – that was totally in my control..." Remus trailed off. The two friends sat in companionable silence for quite a while. Remus once again entangled himself in his friend's arms, and the two fell into a calm, safe slumber up against the tree.

* * *

"Have you found him yet, Albus?" asked Arthur Weasley worriedly, back at number 12 Grimmauld Place. They had spent the entire night trying to locate Remus Lupin, especially after the display he put on for the Order the night before.

The old Headmaster shook his head gravely. "I'm still not sure what he meant when he said he'd bring Sirius back." Dumbledore sat at the kitchen table, sighing and removing his glasses. "And I'm still quite concerned as to the nature of the cut on Remus' arm."

There was an uncomfortable silence, for everyone knew what it was Dumbledore feared – that the wound was self inflicted. They still had absolutely no leads, and the more hours that passed, the colder the trail became.

"This may be a stupid question," said Ron Weasley from the kitchen counter, "but why is it we're not just performing a locating spell?"

Dumbledore smiled at his student, eyes twinkling. Ron blushed. "Ordinarily, Ronald, it would be a valid suggestion. However, all Order members are put under a dislocation spell, for their protection, as well as the protection of the Order."

"Oh," said Ron, looking at his feet. "I didn't know that."

"That's quite alright," muttered Dumbledore distractedly. Ron looked as thought there was something else he wished to ask, but he seemed hesitant to ask it. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "Is there something else, Ronald?"

Ron remained staring at his toes with interest. "Well, sir, I was just wondering-"

"Ron, stop pestering the Headmaster!" scolded Molly Weasley, bursting into the kitchen. "He's got enough to concern him without you bothering him!"

"I wasn't _pestering_ him, Mum!" Ron cried indignantly, crossing his arms and fuming. "I was just wondering if anyone had the decency to inform _Harry_ that Professor Lupin is missing! Or, if like last year, you've as good as forgotten him at those horrible muggle's house!"

There was an incredibly awkward silence, in which Dumbledore looked wearier than ever, Molly looked appalled by her son's behavior, Arthur tried to avoid his wife's gaze, and Ron continued to look furious.

"RON WEASLEY!" screeched his mother, stomping towards him, looking angry enough to pop. "WHERE ON _EARTH_ DO YOU GET OFF SPEAKING TO PROFESSOR DUMBL-"

"It's alright, Molly," Dumbledore said calmly, placing his hand on the woman's shoulder. "Your son is absolutely right."

Molly Weasley's mouth fell open, and she was only able to stare blankly at Dumbledore. Ron looked about as confused as it was possible for someone to look.

"...I _am?_" he asked, baffled.

The Headmaster nodded. "Indeed you are, young man. You see, the strict isolation that I put on Harry last year was, in part, responsible for his altercation with the Dementors last summer. We cannot risk leaving Harry in the dark again. In fact, I believe it would be best if you were the one to inform Harry of the situation."

Ron was shocked, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure of what to say. Finally, he put on his best resolved face, and nodded.

"Or course, sir. I'll do my best to be...to be..." Ron stumbled over his sentence, confused.

"Tactful?" Dumbledore supplied. Ron smiled at the old man.

"Yes – tactful!" And with that, Ron turned and headed upstairs to send Pigwidgeon off to Harry.


	3. Chapter Three

Just In . Directory . Columns . Dictionary . Search Log In . Register Menu- Ad Blocker- Help- TOS- Credits- Privacy Books » Harry Potter » **That Veil** text size: () : (-) Author: KittyKaty 1. Chapter One2. Chapter Two3. Chapter Three PG-13 - English - Angst - Reviews: 15 - Published: 05-18-04 - Updated: 08-21-04 id:1867940 

A/N: Many thanks to my readers/reviewers!

I know there are grammatical errors at the beginning, but it's just for Ron's letter. I didn't figure he'd be up to snuff in the literacy department. Now, if it had been Hermione...

* * *

It was eight o'clock that morning when Pig the owl flew into Harry's bedroom window, hooting madly and zooming around Harry's head. Harry made several frantic grabs at the pint-sized owl before closing his hand around him.

"You really need to calm down, you know that?" an exasperated Harry told the owl. Pig merely hooted happily as Harry rolled his eyes and pulled the roll of parchment off the bird's leg. Pig hopped over to Hedwig's water bowl and Harry unrolled the paper from Ron. _Ron just wrote the other day, _thought Harry. _I wonder what he wants?_ Harry began to read.

_Dear Harry,_

_I really hate to be the bearer of bad new, but Dumbledore trusted me with the task of sending you this letter. Something's happened here at the Order, and we (me and Dumbledore) didn't want to leave you in the dark. Again._

_I'm not sure how to say this, Harry, so I'm just going to tell you what I've been told by my parents (I wasn't actually there)._

_Professor Lupin has been taking Sirius' death really hard. He even started secluding himself in Sirius' old bedroom. Dumbledore told everyone to just let him be and go though the grieving process however he needs to, you know? But last night, while they were having an Order meeting downstairs, Lupin burst in looking really happy. Dad said that he was bleeding a lot from one of his wrists, and Dumbledore's real worried that he...you know...cut himself on purpose. Anyway, he spilled a whole bottle of healing potion on his wrist, tossed the phial on the floor, told Dumbledore that he "couldn't protect any of them", but that he'd "bring him back", then grinned and disapparated. The Order's been trying to find him all night, but they haven't come up with anything yet._

_I'm going to head off and keep an eye on what they're doing, and see if I can learn anything else. Send Pig back and I'll owl you as soon as I know anything._

_-Ron._

Harry frantically re-read the letter in hopes that he had misunderstood, but Ron had made it crystal clear – Lupin was gone. _Oh God, _worried Harry. _What if they can't find him? What if he's hurt himself – again? What if he's..._ But Harry refused to let his mind finish that thought. It just wasn't an option he could allow himself to consider just yet. At least, not so soon after losing Sirius.

_I should have written to Lupin, asked him how he was coping. I should have been there for him! We should be going through this together._

Harry sighed and stared out his window with a determined look on his face. He knew that, while Ron would owl him when he heard anything he felt Harry needed to know, even the information Ron would receive may be censored by his parents. His chances of hearing anything – or being able to force them to tell him something – would be greater if her were actually _at_ Grimmauld Place. He scanned the street, finally spotting a pile of garbage on the side of one of the houses at the end of the street. He recognized the trash to be none other than Mundungus Fletcher. If Harry timed himself just right, he could be gone before Dung even had a chance to react.

Knowing that he wouldn't be able to drag his trunk all the way to Grimmauld Place, Harry grabbed a small knapsack from his trunk and packed a few things he knew he'd need – some clothes, his homework, some toiletries, and his wizard money. He pulled the bag onto his back and slipped his want up his sleeve. Harry went downstairs and casually walked towards the front door. He knew he'd have to be as quick as possible once he stepped outside.

"Boy, what are you doing?" barked Vernon Dursley from the sitting room. Harry ignored him, rushing through the door and down the front steps. He looked down the street and saw Dung lift his head. This was his chance. He pulled his wand from up his sleeve and flung out his right hand. With a sharp _CRACK!_, the triple-decker purple Knight Bus appeared out of nowhere. The door opened, but Harry ran up the stairs before anyone could get out. The driver looked at him quizzically.

"Grimmauld Place, London," Harry rushed out. He tossed some coins at the conductor. "Go! Just drive!" he shouted. The driver put it in gear without a word, and with a loud _CRACK!_, the bus was on it's previous course. Harry drew in a breath of relief and hastily made his way to the back of the bus, making sure to keep his head down so as not to be recognized.

* * *

The early morning sun shone through the trees, and the birds were singing in the distance. Remus Lupin yawned, slowly awakening. He tried to roll over to stretch, but found that there was something restraining him. He opened a sleepy eye and saw the sleeping form of Sirius Black entangled in his own limbs. Smiling at the sight of his peaceful – and _living_ – friend, Remus was reluctant to wake him. However, he could feel that several of his body parts were dumb and tingling. Remus wiggled a bit, futilely trying to turn his body over. Sirius snorted, muttered something about "The goblin has my money...", and tried to roll over. He slowly opened his eyes when he realized he couldn't move.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Remus said. Sirius grinned at his old friend, slowly disentangling himself from the other man. He stood up and stretched, letting out a huge yawn. Remus rolled over and curled in a ball.

"I'm hungry," declared Sirius, turning to face his friend. Remus frowned. "What?" asked Sirius.

Remus sighed. "I was just thinking, Padfoot. What are we going to do?"

"Well, first of all we're going to get some breakfast, Moony. Then-"

"Where?" Remus cut him off. "_Where_ are we going to get breakfast? You're still a convicted murder. And do you _really_ want to go back to Number Twelve?"

Sirius made a face and shuddered. "No, I'm not really up for more months on end of incarceration – if I wanted that, I'd go back to Azkaban."

"Exactly," said Remus, standing and brushing himself off. "So where do we go that you won't be hauled off to Azkaban, or locked in a house?"

There were several moments of dead silence.

"Well, Moony," said Sirius cheerfully, patting the werewolf on the back, "I give up. Where?"

Remus looked thoughtful for a moment, obviously looking for an answer that would please his friend. After several long moments of deliberation, Remus gave the only answer he could think of.

"...Hogwarts?"

"Brilliant!" cried Sirius. He grinned and draped his arm around Remus' shoulders, walking forward. Remus ground to a halt after only a few steps. Sirius looked at him questioningly.

"Hogwarts," stated Remus, turning around, "is _this_ way."

"I knew that," said Sirius seriously. He too turned around, transforming into a large black dog. He bound down the path barking playfully, the lycanthrope trailing close behind.

* * *

"Anything yet?" Ron asked wearily, trudging back into the kitchen. Dumbledore had left not long before, hoping that he would be able to assist in the effort to find Lupin. Nobody had arrived since before Ron had sent Pig to Harry, and Ron was starting to wonder where in the world Remus Lupin could possibly be.

"I'm afraid not, son," said Arthur, sitting at the table restlessly. Dumbledore had asked him to remain at headquarters and inform him if he heard any news, but so far they'd learned nothing, and Arthur wasn't enjoying sitting around doing nothing. Molly was busily cooking breakfast behind him, making extra in case anyone else from the Order happened to drop in. However, this seemed quite unlikely, because anyone who wasn't on assignment was busy looking for Lupin.

Just then, a blue haired, green eyed Nymphadora Tonks fell out of the fire, knocking down several chairs in the process.

"Oh, sorry, Molly," said the somewhat out of breath young woman, straightening the chairs before she could be reprimanded. "Dumbledore sent me."

"What is it, Tonks?" asked Arthur, rising from the table.

"It's Kingsley," she said, taking a seat at the table next to where Arthur had just been sitting. "He worked overnight in the ministry after the meeting, but was supposed to check in with Dumbledore when he got off so that he could help look for Lupin."

"...But he never contacted Albus?" guessed Arthur. Tonks just nodded.

"He wanted to know if he'd been here, or made any contact at all with you."

Arthur shook his head. "The last person to come or go this morning was Dumbledore. We haven't-"

_CRACK!_

Everyone tensed. Tonks stood up and whipped out her wand. Ron, Arthur, and Molly did the same, keeping quiet. There was another _CRACK!_, and they heard the front door open.

"Get behind me," mouthed Arthur, motioning the other three towards the back of the room. They heard footsteps slowly approach the kitchen, and the person on the other side pushed the creaky door open.

"_HARRY!_" cried Ron, pushing past his shocked father and grabbing his friend by the shoulders. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?!"

* * *

A/N: Phewies, Ron was some awful tactful, eh? And bonus points to me for the line, "...said Sirius seriously." Read & Review!Submit ReviewReport Possible AbuseAdd Story to FavoritesAdd Author to FavoritesAdd Author to Author Alert 1. Chapter One2. Chapter Two3. Chapter Three 


End file.
